The Bush Dictionary
A
accountability: to take personal responsibility for one's own actions. Something not required by any member of the Bush administration. After all, if you're apponited by God you're above reproach
activist: anyone who speaks in a negative way about the administration and/or its policies.
activist judge: any judge that upholds the Constitutional rights of American citizens.
American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): an organization that tries to hold on to that old Constitution thing we used to base laws on. Considered to be a terrorist organization.
B
blackmail: any coercion done by any government or administration other than the Bush administration
blowjob: oral sex, the single worst sin a human being can engage in. To lie about getting one is far worse than destroying international relations, creating the largest deficit in history, and starting wars on false premises. Nothing is worse than a blowjob.
C
Christianity: the only real religion. Everything else is evil. However, the actual tenets of this religion are all optional.
conservative: a political group of thought that once simply had different opinions about policy than liberals. Now the Unquestionable Right Hand of God To Whom All Must Bow.
D
deceit: when people outside of the administration lie, whether in actuality or baseless accusation
democracy: A political system where you can vote, but your vote does not count unless it is for Bush. When in reference to a country other than the USA, democracy refers to a puppet regime that must be in agreement with the dictates of the Bush Administration. Same voting system, however your vote only counts when it is for the puppet leader put in place by Bush.
depleted uranium: a substance used as a weapon which is highly destructive not only to living persons, but their very DNA. A weapon said to be extremely destructive against the enemies of the administration, but magically does not affect US soldiers. Pay no attention to the deformed infants.
E
economy: an unlimited source of credit
election: the act of appointing to any office a person that Bush approves of, including himself
exit strategy: ummmm....we'll get to that
F
facts: actual events and information which are to be ignored, misconstrued, editied, changed, and otherwise managed in order to create talking points that the public is supposed to parrot without research or question
family values: hatred, homophobia, racism, wife-beating, judgment, hypocrisy, nationalism, child molestation, censorship, and other deplorable things that followers of Bush may get away with, because God said so. Not to be confused with ethical behavior.
fascist: any government that behaves like the Bush administration, but is not the Bush administration
flip-flop: to change one's mind in the face of new facts and information, rather than maintaining the same opinion regardless of facts
freedom: whatever the administration grudgingly tolerates allowing people to do. Sounds great in speeches.
G
God: the deity of the Christian Bible. Any other being is a myth created by Satan, who went back in time before Christianity ever existed in order to create false gods for people to worship and give the illusion that anything predated Christian mythos.
H
history: a malleable recording of events that is constantly subject to change, depending on whatever message the administration needs to get across at the moment
hope: the vague idea that everything will magically fix itself. To be used in place of effective policy.
I
insurgent: Any citizen of a US-occupied country that defends themselves.
J
justice: to accuse anyone of anything, detain them without charge indefinitely, and possibly torture them. However, if the accused happens to be an adherent to the Bush administration, a trial will be held just for show until the public is sufficiently distracted.
K
Ku Klux Klan: a helpful organization which seeks only to relieve good white folks from the tyranny of poor minorites.
L
liberal: anyone who has the audacity to think for themselves and not follow the party line without question. If you are conservative and start to have doubts about the Bush administration, you are immediately kicked out of the Bush club. Go and play hacky sack, hippie!
liberate: To invade and incessantly bomb another sovereign country without provocation.
life: a fetus. Once born, a human is no longer considered a life. They immediately graduate to becoming either constituents or terrorists.
M
mandate: the assumption of unlimited power granted to a President when he wins an election by less than 1%. See political capital.
mistake: Error. This word does not exist in the Bush Administration.
moderate: what used to be someone who had a mix of liberal and conservative values. Today, this term refers to any hardcore conservative who begins to develop a conscience.
morality : a set of archaic puritan rules loosely based on the Bible which are to be made into laws
N
nationalism: the only true form of patriotism. The fact that the US is better and has more freedom than any other country, even if your own travels and experiences indicate otherwise.
O
oil: the most valuable and important substance on the planet. One barrel of it is worth more than human lives, blood, integrity, the planet, democracy, and everything else that is supposedly of worth.
Osama bin Laden: a Saudi Arabian man of many talents. Can simultaneously be Bush's business partner, Public Enemy #1, and "not a priority".
P
patriotism: The state of being where one blindly follows and accepts anything said or done by the Bush Administration. No matter what.
peace: the state of being that will take place after global genocide and the Rapture, when there is no one left to oppose the Bush administration
planning: to create a viable strategy to resolve situations in a reasonable and responsible manner. It sounds so good in speeches, and the administration plans to use this word a lot. Not to be done in actuality. This word is strictly for speeches.
political capital: an assumption of more power than is due any President. Basically an excuse to do as one wishes. However, this capital is as quickly spent as all other capital.
Q
Quran: some crazy book that those heathen Jews like to read. Erm...our nice friends in Israel aren't included in that "heathen Jew" thing, ok?
R
resolve: the intent to see something through, which will last only as long as it takes to distract the public's attention away from it if needed. See Osama bin Laden .
responsibility: to blame someone else
ridicule: to make fun of someone and defame their character in order to distract others from whatever good point the person just made.
S
stockpile: any amount of an imaginary item
surveillance: the generous use of photo, audio, and video editing software to generate "proof" of whatever the administration is accusing somebody of
T
terrorism: To use force or coercion to influence or alter the US Government. When it comes to any other government, hey, do what you like. Also, any form of disagreement with the administration. See protest, dissent.
terrorist: anyone not in the Bush administration who takes part in atrocities against other people. Term also used to describe any person who voices an opinion contrary to that of the administration.
terrorist cell: any group of three or more people of Middle Eastern descent who congregate within a mile of each other
threat: a term used to describe a country with no actual ability to do harm to the US. Not to be confused with countries that possess nuclear weapons and/or voice actual threats.
torture: To inflict physical harm upon a US soldier. When the harm is applied to any other person, it is no longer torture, it is intelligence gathering.
truth: whatever the Bush adminsitration says. Not required to be based on facts or rationality of any kind whatsoever.
tyrant: one who uses the chemical weapons sold to them by the US government against others. However, the act alone is not sufficient to become a tyrant. First, an entire decade must pass and the Bush administration will need something to refer to in order to have an excuse to make war against said person, even though the US government had no problem with the use of those weapons at the time.
U
unilateral: When everyone agrees with the Bush Administration, whether through freewill, force, or coercion.
V
victory: An undefined future situation that can only truly exist when everyone in the world has been transformed into obedient, non-questioning Christians with absolute obedience and loyalty to the Bush Administration.
W
weapons of mass destruction (WMD): weapons the US government sells to other countries and then uses the possession of these gifts as an excuse to attack them
- Omnithought © 2006